Finding the Right Book Club: Navigating Literature and Community

The Search for a Literary Home

For years, I longed for a book club that truly fit—a place where books weren’t just read but explored, where the discussion wasn’t just casual small talk but an insightful dive into literature. I wanted a community that valued a deep love of reading and thoughtful conversation.

Instead, I found a winding journey filled with mismatched selections, fleeting groups, and unexpected lessons about what it really means to engage with books in a community setting. If you’ve struggled to find the right book club, you’re not alone. Here’s my experience, and what I learned along the way.

Book Club #1: A Casual Gathering Among Friends

My first attempt at a book club was a small, casual group formed among friends. At first, the idea felt perfect—what could be better than reading and discussing books with people I already knew and enjoyed spending time with?

But the reality didn’t quite match my expectations. The book selections leaned heavily toward mainstream bestsellers, many of which were prominently displayed in grocery store aisles. True crime was a favorite among the group, a genre that stopped appealing to me after my career in Criminal Justice; it had left me jaded about the topic overall. I found myself trudging through books that I had no interest in, just to have something to contribute to the conversation.

Beyond the book selections, logistical issues made regular meetings difficult. Busy schedules, unpredictable weather (especially in my region), and shifting priorities led to frequent cancellations. Slowly, interest dwindled, and the group dissolved.

Lesson learned: Just because you enjoy spending time with people doesn’t mean your literary interests will align. A book club needs a shared enthusiasm for the reading material to thrive.

Book Club #2: The Public Library Group

After my first experience, I decided to try a more structured setting—a book club at my local public library. It started with promise. Our first book was 'Lord of the Flies', a classic I had somehow never read before. The discussion was lively, with members offering diverse perspectives that made me think about the book in ways I wouldn’t have on my own.

But as the time went on, the selections took a sharp turn toward politically charged narratives, particularly those centered on racial discourse and social justice. While I don’t shy away from difficult themes, I was uncomfortable with the way certain topics were framed. The discussions became more about ideological viewpoints than literary analysis. Worse, comments made by the group leader revealed a perspective that I found not only offensive but factually inaccurate.

Lesson learned: A successful book club isn’t just about the books—it’s also about the culture of discussion. When conversations shift from literary exploration to political echo chambers, it can alienate members who seek a broader range of perspectives.

Book Club #3: A Faith-Based Approach with Well-Read Mom

A friend introduced me to Well-Read Mom, a Catholic-based book club that focuses on deep, reflective reading. Though I’m not Catholic, I was intrigued by the idea of exploring books that delved into human nature, suffering, and redemption.

To my delight, the women in my local chapter were warm and welcoming. Unlike my previous experiences, this group fostered meaningful discussion, often tying literary themes into real-life experiences. Our meetings extended beyond books—we connected through family hikes, community events, and heartfelt conversations.

For the first time, I felt like I had found the right fit.

But over time, practical issues arose. The biggest challenge? Accessibility. Many of the books were only available through Well-Read Mom’s own publishing company, despite being a nonprofit organization. The cost of these books—at times $30—felt unnecessarily high, especially when some were backordered just when we needed them. I prefer using Everand, my local library, and ThriftBooks to keep my reading affordable, and this restriction has become a growing frustration.

Another issue was the lack of transparency regarding sensitive content. While difficult themes were often outlined—such as in one of the group's audio discussions, where a character’s sexuality in Brideshead Revisited was mentioned before the book was read—many selections containing scenes of infant and child loss were not similarly disclosed. Having personally experienced such a loss, I found it unsettling that this topic was omitted from the group’s extensive communications, including blog posts, the reader’s handbook, newsletters, emails about upcoming books, and voice recordings. It seemed as though the group was leaning toward the sensationalism of this subject, particularly in a way that targeted women, rather than selecting alternative books that could have still aligned with the group’s yearly theme. When I voiced my concerns, the response felt dismissive rather than understanding, and it only came after four months of silence and a second follow-up on my part. That loss of trust made it difficult to continue.

Lesson learned: A book club’s structure and transparency matter. A lack of accessibility and failure to consider member concerns can overshadow even the most enriching discussions.

Rethinking What a Book Club Should Be

Considering leaving Well-Read Mom is difficult. I genuinely value the friendships I made and the thoughtful discussions we share. I'm realizing something important: I may never find a single book club that perfectly aligns with my reading preferences, values, and needs. And that’s okay.

Instead of waiting for the “perfect” group, I’ve shifted my approach:

Independent Reading: I choose books based on my own interests, free from the constraints of a formal club.

Small, Meaningful Discussions: I share books with close friends, having one-on-one conversations that often feel more rewarding than large-group discussions.

Online Literary Communities: Platforms like Goodreads and Reddit allow for diverse perspectives and deeper analysis, often with more varied book selections.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that reading should be an enriching experience—one that challenges, inspires, and uplifts. Whether through a structured book club, informal discussions, or solo reading journeys, the key is finding what truly resonates with you.

Have You Found the Right Book Club?

If you’re still searching for the right book club, don’t be discouraged. It may take trial and error, but the right fit—or a combination of different reading experiences—can make all the difference.

Have you struggled to find a book club that fits? Share your experiences in the comments below—I’d love to hear how you approach literary community and discussion!

Resources for Finding a Book Club:

Goodreads Groups – Connect with readers who share your interests.

Reddit Book Clubs – Join or start an online discussion.

Local Libraries – Many libraries host a variety of book clubs.

Well-Read Mom – Faith-based book club for women.

Silent Book Clubs – For those who love reading but not forced discussions.